“The Most Rewarding and Special Calling in Life”: Motherhood, Feminism, and the Mormon Mommyblog
Masters Thesis Excerpt from 2012
Introduction
“It’s a heady feeling of power, knowing that what you say can be heard not only by your small family, or even your large ward, but by hundreds, thousands, even millions of readers, at every level of faith, everywhere in the world,” begins the guide for Mormons on the Internet in 2000 (Gold, 8). It is separated into several sections instructing Mormons on how to find one another online, the official church websites, and how to keep content safe and moral while participating in a community. Most of the email addresses and websites mentioned in the guide no longer exist, but even then the potential for using the Internet as a tool of connecting Mormon writers with non-Mormon readers was being explored. Author Laura Maery Gold explained, “ If you find yourself uncomfortable approaching coworkers, neighbors, and your seatmate on the airplane about the gospel, you’ll find that your inhibitions quickly disappear in the anonymity of the Internet” (9).
A few years ago, I became interested in the feminist reclamation of crafting (via the Etsy website). Many Etsy sellers also created interest in their product and their brand (themselves) by keeping blogs. This introduced me to the larger world of Mommyblogging—women on the Internet telling their stories and encouraging strangers to read about their families and the day-to-day issues of being a wife and mother. Several blogs stood out to me. These women threw amazing birthday parties. They organized citywide scavenger hunts and had family-themed Halloween costumes. They married young and had children right away. They visited their parents in Utah. These blog authors were Mormon and based on their comments, they were very popular with an audience of non-Mormon women who identified as single or childless as well as secular and feminist. My speculation was confirmed when Emily Matchar wrote an article for Slate entitled, “Why I can’t stop reading Mormon housewife blogs” about being an atheist and feminist “addicted” to Mormon Mommyblogs. Her article received almost 500 comments of similarly identified women who also regularly read these blogs. I was curious how so many young, feminist women were not only reading the blogs of young Mormon Mothers, but also becoming fans. Numerous comments on the blog posts I read applauded the Mormon Mommybloggers and even equated their success as mothers and wives to the success of living a Mormon lifestyle. How did these women find one another on the Internet?
This paper will argue that Mormon Mommyblogs appeal to non-Mormon (feminist-identified) readers because of paradoxes within the roles Mormon women occupy. These paradoxes align with the concept of “new momism.” The perception that women can be anything, when they are actually expected to be everything is at the center of this. Readers aspire to the community and support bloggers write about, misreading the role of a Mormon mother through the veil of third wave feminism. Secular women read the Mormon Mommy Blogs seeking inspiration (and occasionally fantasy) in stay-at-home Mothers who sew their children’s toys, wear demurely chic clothing, and give their husband nothing but praise. The bloggers get to revel in their role and let readers know that their faith enables them to embrace this lifestyle. Here a new community is created: bloggers performing Mormon motherhood to an audience of readers who long for a community because of the pressure and isolation from expectations about what a modern mother should be.
This relationship is complicated and tested as bloggers increase their readership. Political and cultural issues (gay marriage, racism, feminism) often place authors and readers on opposite sides of an argument. Will authors refrain from posting about these topics in order to keep people clicking? Or is it better to post about a belief and take the heat in the comments section? Some bloggers have even chosen to disable comments and eliminate this part of their community. Another consequence of increased readership is the desire to convert a blog into a moneymaking enterprise. While some readers are disappointed in the change when a blog takes on advertisements, many have come to embrace this.
Ultimately, the relationship is maintained by the desire of both authors and readers to meet the expectations of the “new momism.” Mormon Mommybloggers want to present their slice of Mormon perfection to readers. And readers want to believe that there are women who really do have it all, while remaining focused on their children and husband.
For the purposes of this paper, I have chosen to focus on six blogs. They were chosen because of their popularity and cross over appeal in the mainstream blogosphere. While Mormon Mommyblogs all have similar style and content, they can be broken down into sub categories. Evangelical blogs are particularly direct in discussing Mormon culture and practice. These bloggers tend to speak openly about heading to church, but also offer readers a way to participate in Mormonism. Design blogs are similar to non-Mormon blogs that focus on presenting the blogger's skills and work portfolio. However, Mormon Mommybloggers heavily focus their design blogs on family friendly activities and often feature their own families as an example. Finally, the family journal blogs are the most common for Mormon Mommybloggers. These blogs have content that can vary from family scrapbook to online journal. Many of these bloggers began writing as a way to keep in touch with family, or record their history, but now have opened themselves to a wider audience.
